Why Do I Do It, This job of Mine?
by VanHelsings angel
Summary: The thoughts of a CSI at the end of season 3.


Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami, or any of its characters

Rating: The rating is just for mentioned murder and suicide… stuff like that.

Spoilers: None

Set: At the end of season 3.

A/N: This is a collection of thoughts; (A bit of drabble/angst, please don't shoot me, ) it could be thoughts from any of the characters, so you can read this thinking these are the thoughts of any one of them you want… I tried to make it like that on purpose. Please R+R, Feedback means a lot to me.

Why Do I Do It, This Job Of Mine?

Sometimes, people ask me why I do this, this job of mine. Why I come into work everyday, and put my ass on the line for people I don't even know. Why I spend so much of my time in the Labs and bring my job home with me. How we can deal with seeing death at every turn. Why I just don't quit.

Some times I wish I could.

Here is their answer.

When I picked up my badge for the first time, I took on a responsibility. The security of my city, my state, my country.

My job is to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and when I fail at that, to find and prosecute those who commit crime against those who cannot defend themselves.

Death and Murder is most often than not the outcome, part of the profession, yes, but if we ran from it, stuck our heads in the sand and pretended it was not there, what kind of society would we live in? What kind of lives would we lead? If I shy away from my duty, I give a little leeway to criminals, and that is all they need.

I have become use to death and its ways, not desensitized, not immune, no. I am ever aware that I am not immune. Just use to it. I know now that death walks hand in hand with life, and I am here to keep the peace, to bring justice to those who think themselves god.

Justice _is _my cause, no matter what others think. My service is to people who have not been shown fairness, and evidence is my helper. The evidence never lies, and it never will. It can be misread, misinterpreted, missed entirely, but it never lies. I study it long and hard to make sure this never happens, we all do. Evidence is my sword, it will never blunt, at least not until I choose to step down, and let new recruits help my city bring justice to those who evade it. And when I do, I put my own safety in their hands.

I fight the good fight, put away the crims in _my _city that never sleeps, Miami. The law-abiding citizens put their faith in me, trust me to get murderers and lawbreakers off their streets, and I take this as an honor. But don't let me fool you, at times the job gets me down, and my gun starts to look mighty friendly. Seeing what we see every day would affect some people to the point of suicide, but we try to rise above that, we help each other. We understand each other's feelings and reactions for the most part, and when we don't, we respect each other's time to recover, and are there for them when they need it.

Sometimes we throw ourselves into the solving of the crime to try and escape the brutal reality of the world. It's just human nature that we all react differently, some more drastically than others. Murder is all around us, no one can block it out forever, and if it doesn't get to you somehow eventually, something is wrong with you. We all know it, and hold each other up when the going gets tough.

When we lose one of our own, one we know, or knew, of course it is hard, heart wrenching, even frightening, it just shows you how fast a life can be taken. But over the hundreds of cases we deal with, we learn that you must move on, dwelling on such things does no one any good, least of all, the job, so that's what we do. Treat it as another case, another day, and move on, even though deep down it still hurts, and the wound is deep, and we don't know if it will ever heal right, we move on.

My job is my life, at times it is a trial, hard beyond belief, but then you remember how you help people, give them proper closure, and how you affect them in a good way.

That part of the job is easy, satisfying even. Putting away the person you and your evidence has proven guilty is the best feeling in the world.

I have seen the best of it, and the worst of it, the ups and downs. I have put away murderers, Snipers, and kidnappers. I have killed and seen killed my share of criminals, and I have seen fall the best of Law-enforcers, fellow men and women in the department.

I salute them.

I have processed innumerable amounts of incriminating evidence, sat countless juries, and testified against many offenders. I have helped my city, hoping to make it that little bit better, hoping to make it that little bit of Paradise we all look for, and of that I am proud.

I am a CSI.


End file.
